Ha !

Surprised ?

I'm as surprised as you.

Yes, it's me, blogging, less than 6 months away from the last entry.

Well, here I am, seated at home, filled with this sudden desire to blog ..

I dunno, guess I just feel the need to express myself.
I dunno if anyone will notice this entry though lol !
For those who manage to catch this ... CONGRATS ! :D
YOU HAVE BEEN AWARDED 5 MINUTES AWAY FROM YOUR WORK !









Ok nonsense aside.

Today, I finally played for the my Church Community.
I played the guitar ... AND SANG FOR THEM ! :O

It felt great, especially since I got most of my part right lol XD
Well ... I guess God answered my prayers :)

It's just nice to know that I was able to help the community out in my own little way, by
you know, doing something I like, which is making music.





Well. Yea. I dunno ... Just feel the need to post an entry.
It's nothing much ... maybe it's just an excuse for me to take attention away from my homework ...


I dunno what's gotten over me ...
Ever since the 2 weeks holidays, I feel so unmotivated.

And it's not in a depressing way.
I just ..well. Dun feel the need to do it.

I stare at the work the work stare at me, I stare at the guitar and I end up playing
instead of doing work lol.

I dunno what's gotten into me ...
I'm so distracted ...
It's so frustrating.

I KNOW I can do work, but somehow I just dun want to do it.
Dammit man ... this isn't cool ...

I hate the feeling of doing work because we have to.

I used to be so easily motivated to work.
What happened to me ??

I want to work hard. Work smart.
I want to be able to spend time with my close friends ..

I dun ever want them to feel like the friendship is drifting apart ...
Do they feel insecure ?
Am I trying hard enough to finish work so I can hang with them ??

Everytime they ask me out and I say I'm not free, I get answers like :" haha expected that " ..
I mean. It's good that they understand that I'm a busy little cow.

But it's kinda saddening too, because in a way, they're USED TO IT.
It's ... I dunno.

I feel so useless.

I know alot of people are probably gonna be angry hearing me type out stuff like that, and especially since I dun really share these kinda weak moments with others, but I really feel useless now.

I wanna dump everything away and go out with all my friends.
I want them to know I care for them. Every single one of my dear buddies.


How can I show the people around me that I care for them ?
That ever if they need me, I'd drop everything for them ?

I dunno ... Maybe they dun feel that from me anymore.
The " I know Wei Qiang is always there for me when I need someone to turn to " ...

What happened to Wei Qiang the kukuhead, the dude who always does stupid stuff and ends up
making his friends laugh ??

I'm still here ... Just that I'm busy ... I wish I could just cry everything out.


Hmm ...









God.

As I sit here, half-naked, dirty, and tired, with heavy eyebags from lack of sleep ...
I pray. Sincerely, and most solemnly ...

Lord. Give me the strength to stay awake. And also ... Give me the discipline and creativity I need... And Motivation ... to do well in my course. Give me the ability to do the best that I can, and even more than I can ever do on my own ...

Save me from this moment of weakness ... Many people have told me that once people enter Poly ... their friendships will split up ... Lord, please help me keep these friends of mine ...
They're far too precious to lose. Every single one of them who have journeyed with me in my life,
Help me show them that they have always been and are still very dear and close to me.


Give me the " Never Say Die " attitude ... Help me work smart ... and hard ... so that I can finish
my work fast, and well.

I want to be able to enjoy moments with my friends, family, and community ...
There's so much on my plate now, but I know that you wun drop me into situations that I myself cannot handle ...

So Lord, give me all I need to settle all this.

I dun want anyone I care for to ever feel neglected.










* sigh *
Save me Lord ... I dun think I can do it on my own. I need You to save me from this....










To those who've read this.
I'm sorry you have to see this ..
But yea, I dun wanna trouble anyone.
I need to let it out somehow.

If you bothered to read all the way to this portion...

I thank you :)
Thanks for caring enough to read all this..

But dun worry about me.
AND DUN SCOLD ME ! :O
lol.

I may seem happy all the time, but I do have moments of weakness too ...
Dun worry about me ok ! Seriously.

AND. If you guys ever need me.
EVER.


Just come find me ...
Because that's what friends are for.

Take care you guys :)
God bless you all ..

+~Peace~+

A very defeated Clyde-
Wolffang scribbled at Sunday, June 29, 2008.